While shopping the other day at Kohls, I was shocked to see Christmas decorations already up. I pointed this out to one of my friends and she proceeded to point out that it seems as if this year, everyone is rushing into the next season and can’t simply embrace the current. I couldn’t stop thinking about this for the next week! How true!
This year, Halloween started September 1st and Christmas started November 1st. What?! Did anyone else notice this? Starbucks came out with their seasonal drinks almost a month sooner this year, Christmas trees went up the second the clock hit 12:00 November 1st, and Halloween decorations went up the second the clock hit 12:00 September first (not hating, I was one of those people).
I think for a lot of people, embracing the season of singleness is so much harder around the holidays because they’re so family oriented, romantic and cozy, therefore boosting our desire for a significant other, so… I have a few pointers on singleness, what to (and not to) do with it and how to embrace it.
1. Don’t put your desire for a relationship over your desire for God.
I’m a firm believer that God won’t provide us a significant other until we’re fully rested in Him alone, and if you’re not, try not to get your hopes up but rather, keep your hope in Him. If God never provided a significant other, would His love be enough for you? Would the cross be enough to keep you fully satisfied in Him? Don’t be too caught up in the physical desire that you miss out on God’s desire.
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. / Psalm 63:1
2. Breakups are hard, but being out of God’s will is harder.
If you’ve recently been through a breakup and are struggling extra hard this holiday season… This one’s for you.
I’ve been there. I understand how painful, lonely and emotionally traumatizing they are. But… If they weren’t God’s will for your life, rejoice because there’s something (and someone) so much better coming your way! Being right in the center of God’s will is a feeling like no other. Be proud of that. His will is better than any relationship. His love for you is greater than any mere human love.
The wrong relationship could potentially wreck your purpose. Who you are with should add onto your purpose for the Kingdom, not diminish it.
Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. / Hebrews 13:20-21
3. Don’t be too caught up in the next season that you miss the one you’re in.
Hint hint… Putting up Christmas trees weeks before Thanksgiving… (if it makes you happy, go for it. Just don’t forget to embrace the current season. I mean, how could you not? Thanksgiving food is baller).
If He wanted you to be in the next season already, don’t you think you’d already be there? Hold up, chill, and be patient. It’s coming. Use this time to fully embrace and learn from this season. Don’t miss it because you’re too caught up in the next.
He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority.” / Acts 1:7
4. If you spend more time talking or thinking about them than you do God, you’ve just made them an idol.
In a dating relationship, your alone time with God should far outweigh the time you spend with your partner. If it doesn’t, it lacks God’s favor, therefore creating an unhealthy relationship. Be in active pursuit of Him through prayer and reading His Word before allowing yourself to be pursued (ladies) or being the pursuer (men). It’ll be so much more special when you know (by the confirmation of wise counsel and God Himself) that God’s favor is upon your relationship.
“Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.”
Jimmy Needham / Clear the Stage
5. Your loneliness is not a result of your singleness.
Only One can satisfy. Rather than act upon your loneliness, act upon the spirit of patience that God has provided in you.
The season of singleness is the best season because there’s nothing and no one to get in the way of wholeheartedly chasing after the heart of God on your own. There’s nothing like it. There’s nothing like saying “just You and me, Jesus.” Being alone with Him is bittersweet, special and intimate. Rest in the fact that He has set you apart for Him and Him alone.
Rushing a relationship is rushing your alone time with God. To my singles, you have a special work to complete for the Kingdom before a person is added to the equation. How awesome is that?! Embrace that!
In whatever season you’re in, keep chasing after God knowing He’s chasing after you. Embrace the current season like you’ve never embraced anything before because it’s nothing short of a gift from God.
God’s love is the only love we need, but when He sees that we are fully rested in it (if it’s in His will), He will take into consideration your want.
Your purpose on this earth is not found within a significant other, but rather found within the hands of the Bridegroom.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. / Ecclesiastes 3:1-8