(Intentionally) Single at 20.

Prepare yourself… Yes, I am 20 years old and I am intentionally single. Whoa. I mean, c’mon. How many times have you ever read that statement?

Especially at my age, relationships are all the rage. Everyone’s rushing into something they think can lead to something great. I get it, I’ve been there. But honestly… I think they’re overrated

I’ve seen so many wonderful young relationships turn into glorifying to Jesus, done how I believe God wants it to be done and pure and intentional in every form, but man… is it a rarity. 

Growing up, relationships with boys were all I knew. I was defined by them. I lived for them. I was not complete without one. I was never without one… until I met a man named Jesus.

This man, Jesus… He became enough. He is enough. And until Jesus is enough for you too… Nothing will ever be. 

Friends, I’ve never been happier than in these last few years of being (for the most part) single. I’m at a time in my life where a relationship doesn’t even seem remotely appealing. Boys? Who cares. Relationships? Who cares. Marriage? Who cares. Your entire souls worth is within a King in His glory, not your singleness.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I never have the desire and that I never allow my desire and emotions triumph God’s pleasing and perfect Will for my life… I still have room to grow. I always have room to grow. My singleness is just so simple: God has more in store for me (and most likely for you) than a relationship in the season I’m in.

“Just me and you, Jesus” is something I find myself saying nearly daily that overwhelms me with joy knowing I get to be with the King of Kings. That in it of itself is so much more than enough. Why get caught up in loneliness when this man named Jesus left His glory to bring you closer to His own heart? I don’t know about you, but the company of Jesus is far greater than the company of any human. If it lacks His desire, it lacks my own. 

So I ask this… If you were to drop your desire for a significant other (or your current significant other) to greater please Jesus, would you?

Man… I’m sitting here thinking of all the times relationships have been put above precious Jesus and how it must make Him feel. Daily. Daily people are desiring a significant other over Him and that’s never a place I want to find myself in again. In the center of God’s heart and Will is where He’ll find me. To know that your Father in Heaven is pleased with you: there is no greater thing.

So, friends, I pray over you today that every day you’ll fall in utmost love with Jesus before the sole thought of falling for someone else enters your mind. Make His desires your own before putting your desires over His

I pray over you that you pray fervently on your face before God alone before you ever allow a desire become an action. The way you’ll know if it’s from God is not because your emotions are prevalent, but because the wise counsel you have sought (God and/or Godly leaders) will see that it is good, healthy and from God. 

If you’re going to pursue a relationship, please (please!!!) pray to make sure you’re doing it how God wants it. Relationships aren’t to be tossed around like a wave when you’re lonely, they’re to lead in the pursuit of holiness with God’s chosen one for you. 

God is just way too good to miss out on what He has for you because you were too busy satisfying your own flesh and your own emotions. He’s got so much for you, my friend. 

If you’re single, take heart. God’s got something so much greater for you to accomplish within His Kingdom on your own than you could ever imagine. 

If you’re in a relationship, I hope you pray for and about it daily. I pray it leads into marriage, till death do you part. Seek wise counsel. Seek God. Do it right. 

Love you guys.

God bless.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. // Matthew 6:33

2 thoughts on “(Intentionally) Single at 20.

  1. I’m so glad God led you to write this and that God led me to it to read it. I’m 32, separated, with 3 kids, and have never known my adult life to be fully dependant on God and fully independent of man. I’m currently working on this exact thing. That men and sex can’t ever heal my pain. You have encouraged me greatly, praise God for using you.


  2. Sasha

    Thank you so much for posting on this. I’m 18 and I’ve never been in a relationship, and it can get rough when the college scene pushes for romantic relationships. This is exactly when I needed to hear; when I’m tempted to give in to my desires and pursue someone who isn’t meant for me out of loneliness, I must remember that Christ is worth so much more.


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