This week was genuinely so blessed. I got to see one of my favorite worship bands and be surrounded by thousands of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and witness an overwhelming amount of hands worship the Lord in surrender. I got to see hundreds of salvations occur. I got to see hell tremble.
This week, God moved so abundantly in my life in a way that He never has before, it completely wrecked me and overflowed me with joy and praise to the King.
This week, I didn’t have a single flare up from my stomach disorder when most times I get them nearly every day.
Overall, I’ve been so abundantly blessed this week. Blessed beyond what I can comprehend. So why has it been so completely dreadful for me? Why have I felt so blah this week? I’ve felt more insecure this week than I ever have. I’ve been replaying conversations over and over in my head and thinking “why the heck did I say that? I probably sounded so stupid”. I’ve been overthinking every little detail of the week and it’s making me a complete mess. It’s been driving me completely insane.
Last week, I vividly remember asking my girls to pray for me simply because everything was great. Perfect, I would say. I had a great week, I was so financially blessed and was overall genuinely happy with my life. “Why would you ask for prayer when everything is perfect?”, you might ask.
Because that’s the scary thing: comfort.
God can’t use you when you’re comfortable. When you’re comfortable, it usually means there is a lack of obedience to what the Lord is asking of you.
I was allowing myself to be distracted from the Kingdom every single day without realizing it until the Lord wrecked me this week. I’ve been relying on others to fill the void in my heart rather than Jesus. I’ve been living for the approval of others rather than the pleasure of my King.
I was so content last week with the blessings that the Lord bestowed upon me that I found myself forgetting about the blessed King Himself. My heart was in the approval of others rather than my face in His Word and on the floor in worship.
One thing that I always have and always will struggle with is emotions. I know most women struggle also, but wow… I struggle. Hard. I struggle to bite my tongue and not speak purely out of emotion and the enemy knows this weakness and loves to take advantage of it. Every day I am choosing to allow my emotions lead me closer to the Lord rather than away. He allowed these emotions so I can have such a special emotional connection with Him. The enemy tries to use my emotions as my weakness but the Lord knows they’re my strength.
The very moment God moved in my life this week was the moment I felt more emotionally attacked than I ever have. I got physically sick nearly immediately after. The devil attacked because he was scared. He’s aware and he’s scared of the power he knows lives in me. He tries to underestimate that power by attempting to take it away.
But the thing is… he can’t.
He can try and try until he can’t try any longer. He can push me but he can’t make me fall. He can have my emotions for a moment but God has my worship for eternity. He can make me sick but God is my healer. There’s not a single time he will attempt to attack that he won’t get a black eye in return, because God is greater. He is more powerful. Jesus defeated death and the grave so I don’t have to live defeated by the enemy’s schemes.
One thing that I refuse to minimize the importance of is Ephesians 6. Something Christians tend to forget is the spiritual warfare that is constantly going on around us. Every second. Every day. Even while you sleep, the enemy will do everything in his power to steal the Lord’s joy from you. Just because you can’t see it… doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” | Ephesians 6:12
There’s not a mountain and there’s not a valley that I won’t get on my hands and knees and worship the King. I want to be as desperate to seek His face when I’m on top of the mountain as I am when I’m in the valley.
The devil attacks not because of my broken past, but because of my vibrant future.
There’s nothing I want and look forward to more than seeing Jesus face to face and hearing Him say to me “well done, my good and faithful servant” and enter into the gates of eternity with Him. No amount of pain on this earth can ever compare to the glory of heaven. That’s what really matters; bringing heaven to earth. Showing the people around you a taste of heaven. This can be something so simple as a smile or something so miraculous as being the Lord’s healing hands for the sick.
Don’t allow yourself to be comfortable. Always strive to follow where the Lord leads, even in the most uncomfortable moments. The most uncomfortable moments will turn out to be the most blessed ones. All you have to say is “here am I Lord” and He will send you. Step out and He will bless you.
Walk in confidence of the Lord, despite the attacks of the enemy. He will always overcome so you don’t have to. His protection is always surrounding you!
There is never a moment He has His hands off of you. Ever. All you have to do is trust. Trust and He will provide. It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it.
“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” | Ephesians 6:13-17